For many singles, online forums and websites have become somewhat a bedrock for relationship advice. One of such teachings focuses on the “hard to get” game.


For instance Pastor Bimbo Odukoya says – “A woman’s responsibility is to prepare to be found. She was not made to initiate, propose a relationship, woo, toast,seduce the man! The man must actively pursue her. Most men do not really appreciate a lady who is pestering them for a relationship, at most they will agree and start the relationship then quit when they have had enough with the lady; they value taking the lead and always determined to go after the woman they desire. Real men love taking challenges and being on top of it all, in fact he will enjoy the chase as much as she enjoys being chased!”

chase 2On the other hand, Tracey Cox  opines  – “That there are a lot of sexist men who will judge women who dare to take the initiative. Of course there are! Until we start worrying less about making these sort of men feel uncomfortable and more about what makes sense, there always will be sexist men who are wedded to tired, irrelevant and evolutionary unnecessary ‘rules’ that ruin relationships.  I say sod the sexist men and let’s do it anyway. I suspect the majority of liberated, decent, self-actualised men who would applaud women who are willing to put their hands up and show they fancy the pants off them and are also eager to get things moving.

Each woman has an excellent point. All these mind games wouldn’t suffice if Eve hadn’t given Adam the forbidden apple. Of course, there are women out there who have gotten their man via these methods. Although, I know a few girls who have gone the Odukoya route and  lost the guy to the eager girl next door. The Cox disciples did not fare better!  A balance between the two teachings would work methinks!  Tread carefully and find out what school of thought he belongs to. Even the most spiritual of men sometimes need an indirect push.

Frankly, a crystal ball or a smartphone with mind-reading abilities would come in handy!

Any thoughts? Please share..

Ciao Bellas xxx


4 thoughts on “TO CHASE OR NOT TO CHASE?

  1. “Tread carefully and find out what school of thought he belongs to. Even the most spiritual of men sometimes need an indirect push.” ….. I’m usually of the school of thought that the man should actively do the wooing cos experience shows that people (not just men) actually place more value on the things they work hard to get. Just compare the way you spend money you work for and the one given to you as a gift. So like you said, the best way is to find out what kind of man he is and what school of thought he belongs to and tread carefully. If he is of the old school that believes in the traditional way of a man asking a woman out then you just have to wait but if he’s new school, then you can take the plunge. Nice write up though!

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